


It's Only a Question of Degree

by anyanka_eg



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-07
Updated: 2011-02-07
Packaged: 2017-10-15 11:53:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/160559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anyanka_eg/pseuds/anyanka_eg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve is pretty sure all women are crazy, but one of them may have just ruined his life</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Only a Question of Degree

This is my first Hawaii Five-0 fic. I'm late to the party as usual with regards to fandoms but 15 eps in is pretty timely for me. Enjoy

 

Steve fidgeted in his seat, wishing he'd worn something else. It wasn't that jeans and a t-shirt were inappropriate for the restaurant, far from it, it was just that he felt really uncomfortable and focusing on his clothes was a whole hell of a lot easier than wondering how he'd gotten himself into this mess. He was a SEAL for God's sake, and a fucking five year veteran of naval intelligence, and yet somehow he'd been maneuvered into a situation he wouldn't have even wished on Victor Hesse. Well okay, maybe he would.

Women! He would never understand them.

They just didn't follow the same rules as normal human beings. There was no way a guy would have bought his partner's ex-wife in a bachelorette auction, if they even had them, no matter how great the charity it supported was. There was a rule, the one rule you did not break, that said you didn't date, sleep with, kiss or even look at 'that way' the ex-wife or girlfriend of your partner, brother, cousin, friend, room-mate, next door neighbor, colleague, anyone you knew. Hell, even the exes of people you didn't like were kind off limits, unless the guy was a complete dick. And ideally not living in town anymore. And maybe dead.

But women? They just seemed not to get it at all. There was a long list of them he was blaming for his current predicament, starting with the Governor.

She'd just dropped the suggestion into the conversation like it was nothing, even said he might enjoy it, and he'd bought it hook, line and sinker. How could he refuse? A bachelor auction at the Kapi‘olani Children's Hospital annual fund raiser sounded like a pretty easy gig. He could just turn up in his tux, wow a huge wad of cash out of someone who could more than afford it and end the evening feeling like he'd done his bit for sick kids.

“What could possibly be wrong with that?” she'd said, taking a swig of the beer he'd given her. He wasn't sure when it had become a tradition for her to call in to the office every couple of weeks and drink his beer, and he couldn't work out how to tell her it made him wildly uncomfortable.

When he hadn't objected right away she'd even added, with a wry twist of her lips, “You should wear your dress whites, push your price up even more.”

The thought filled him with horror, even now. He respected the uniform he'd worn for eleven years and there was no way he was ever going to wear it to some slightly sordid event, no matter how good the cause was. Besides, it'd make him feel like a stripper.

“I'll do the auction, but I'll wear a tux like all the other guys,” he'd reluctantly agreed, staring at the Governor letting her know that it was pointless to argue. She met his gaze levelly for a few moments before tipping the neck of her beer bottle in acknowledgment and then taking a swig as if sealing the deal.

After that, of course, he had to run the gauntlet of his team. He was pretty sure that the Governor herself had told Kono, for reasons he couldn't fathom, and then his team mate just had to tell everyone she'd ever met. Actually, he couldn't really fault Kono on that one. If it had been any of the others the Governor had press-ganged into their monkey suits, or monkey dresses – was that the right term for what girls wore for these things? - there's no way he'd have kept quiet either.

He smiled, imaging Danny in a tux, his hands waving in irritation as Steve wound him up more and more. God, he'd be so hot. He could imagine peeling Danny out of the suit, silencing the other man's ranting with his mouth. 

A waitress darted towards his table and topped off his glass of water, dragging Steve out of his fantasy and back to the appalling reality where Danny wasn't ever going to speak to him again, let alone kiss him. Not that that was going to happen even before Steve had been on a date with Danny's ex-wife.

He wondered if he could fake his own death with just a glass of water and his napkin.

Steve looked at his watch, noting that the woman who had ruined his life was already twenty minutes late. Surely there was a rule about that too. You just didn't leave the guy you'd paid a stupid sum of money for sitting alone in a restaurant. It was rude, and plain weird.

And the money she'd paid...that just blew his mind. He knew Stan was wealthy, had even guessed that Rachel had her own income, and if he wasn't sure she'd ruined his life, he'd be kind of flattered that someone would spend ten thousand dollars for a date with him. Flattered, and embarrassed.

He hadn't really seen much of the auction from the back stage room where the bachelors were corralled, for which he'd been eternally grateful. He'd been nervous enough with everything he'd imagined but walking out on that stage, feeling the eyes of about a five hundred people on him, had his palms sweating and his knees feeling more than a little like jello. He'd faced terrorists who scared him less than that room of women.

He'd plastered on a fake smile to hide the gut churning terror and stood in front of the crowd, convinced they could probably smell his fear. Maybe that's what had made the bidding so wild. Women were weird like that. Well, the ones he seemed to attract that night were, anyway.

He must have looked like such a fool standing there, not quite knowing what to do with his hands, but the bids kept wracking up. He knew he wasn't unattractive, he got that, but he'd still been terrified that he'd get the lowest bid and Danny would mock him for the rest of his life. Now he was terrified that Danny wouldn't mock him ever again.

There had been a lot of bids from all over the room at the beginning but once the sums had gotten over three thousand dollars it had come down to a straight fight between a matronly woman in her fifties and a determined looking twenty something in a tiny red dress. The younger woman was beautiful and obviously wealthy, and he guessed pretty much every guy he knew would think he was crazy, but he really, really hoped the older woman won. She had kind eyes and a soft smile, where as the woman in the red dress looked like she'd be complicated and kind of scary.

The bids had seemed to be coming to an end around five thousand dollars, with both of the women thinking carefully each time they upped the price, when the Governor had announced she had a telephone bid, from someone she could personally vouch for. There were murmurs round the room, especially amongst the friends of the woman in the red dress and then the room just erupted when she announced that the bid was for ten thousand dollars and the Governor herself would cover it if the phone bidder didn't pay up.

The older woman smiled ruefully and was obviously not willing to up her bid to beat the phone offer. Steve met her smile and offered her one of his own. She raised her glass and grinned at him, her face shining with delight even though she'd lost the auction, and he really wished she'd won because he thought he could have actually enjoyed dinner with her.

The younger woman looked furious and Steve was terrified that she would outbid the phone offer. She'd had the kind of mad, avaricious gleam in her eye that said she was used to getting her own way because of her money and her looks. There seemed to be some kind of limit to her money though as she frantically asked her friends to help and then reached for her phone to obviously try to raise some there. 

The auctioneer, after the noise died down a little, had carried on and despite the howls of outrage from the young woman and her friends had closed on the ten thousand dollar phone bid. Steve thought it was ironic now, just how grateful he was right then, to have been won by the person on the phone when he saw the anger twist red dress's face.

And if she had won, she probably wouldn't have tried to punch the Governor later that evening, although he wasn't entirely sure, forcing Steve to stop her. The footage of him carrying a kicking and screaming crazy woman out of the venue had made the all the local news shows and the pictures were front page of the papers next morning, making sure that every single person he met knew an anonymous bidder had broken all previous records and paid a stupid sum of money just to have dinner with him.

His team had been merciless, leaving copies of the newspapers on every surface, playing the news footage on an endless loop on the big screens. And Danny had been especially gleeful about the whole thing.

“How do you do it?” he'd asked, his hands raised in supposed frustration even though a smile was tugging at his mouth “How do you go to a civilized event, wearing an actual tie, and cause such chaos? Only you could nearly get the Governor punched while raising money for charity.”

“It wasn't my fault,” argued Steve, because clearly there hadn't been anything he could do. “She was just crazy.”

“Who? The Governor, for thinking it was a good idea to sell you to the highest bidder?” Danny asked, his hands waving in amusement at Steve's discomfort. “Or the woman who went out of her mind at the sight of you in a tux?”

“She was drunk. And crazy.” He knew he was using the word crazy a lot, but it bore repeating. She, and her whole damn gender, were all mad.

“Let's not forget that she's also the daughter of one of Hawaii's leading business men,” Danny pointed out, helpfully. “And a rising star on local TV. I always try to catch her segments on Hollywood news. I saw her interview Brad Pitt last year. It was great, no one got punched.”

“God, I'm never going to live this one down, am I?” Steve asked, slumping into his office chair and dropping his head into his hands.

“Not a chance,” Danny had agreed happily, before turning on his heel and almost skipping back to his office.

Of course, that was all before the Governor told him who his anonymous bidder was and his world had ended. He just thanked all the gods that he hadn't been with Danny when he got the call because he was pretty sure his “Rachel?” had been completely involuntary and he would have said it even if his partner had been there too.

“Yes, she seemed quite keen to win you,” the Governor had replied, her delight in his reaction obvious in her voice. “And to remain anonymous. I assume you'll be just as keen to keep it that way too.”

He had laughed at that. A slightly hysterical laugh because he could see the next few days stretching ahead of him where he tried to not let anything slip about the identity of his date and his reticence to talk making Danny more and more intent to work out who it was. And then, once his partner did find out the truth, Steve was pretty sure Danny wouldn't even punch him, he'd just transfer right back to the HPD and that would be the end of the Five-0.

It wouldn't matter that Steve hadn't done anything to encourage Rachel, and even though it would never, ever go further than some stupid, awkward dinner, it would always be between them. Danny would always know that his ex had spent ten thousand dollars to buy his partner for some reason, whether it was a genuine interest or to just mess with his head, and that would eat him up. Steve knew it would kill him if the positions were reversed, he was sure.

He wondered if losing Danny from his life was going to be the end of him anyway. He thought, when Danny left him, he'd maybe re-enlist, go back to the Navy and lose himself in the work. He wanted to know who was behind the death of his parents, he really did, but he didn't think he was going to get there without is partner. He knew he could probably ask the Governor to tell Rachel he couldn't do it, threaten her with the dissolution of the Five-0 but he didn't think he could bring himself to explain just how dependent he was on Danny, how much he needed the other man. So he'd agreed with the Governor, told her he'd call Rachel on the number she'd given him, and then gone back to trying to pretend he was doing paperwork.

And so here he was, a week later, sat in The Chart House waiting for Rachel. It wasn't the sort of place he'd expected Rachel to pick, and he'd normally have been looking forward to eating a great steak washed down with a good beer, but he was pretty sure he wouldn't be able to swallow a thing past the lump in his throat.

He dragged his gaze away from the sun setting behind the boats and saw a waiter headed towards his table across the terrace. He expected to see Rachel but when the waiter stepped aside he felt the blood drain from his face because right there was his worst nightmare.

Danny.

“And here we are,” the waiter said cheerfully, stopping and giving Danny a full view of Steve sat at the table.

“Steve?” Danny looked surprised and wary. He was dressed up for a date and Steve wondered what he must have done something really bad in a past life to have this much bad karma. Of all the thousands of restaurants on O'ahu he had to pick the same one as Rachel had picked for their date.

“Danno,” Steve murmured miserably, knowing it was probably the last time he said it. “I'm sorry.”

“What?” Danny asked, sliding into the seat opposite, his face a picture of concern. “What are you sorry for?”

“There we go,” the waiter said, eying them as if they were both crazy. “Mrs Edwards said I was to give you these when you were both seated.”

The waiter placed two envelopes in front of them, one addressed to Steve and one to Danny. Steve wondered what they could possibly contain that could make his evening any more difficult. He felt sick. He was pretty sure his hands were shaking when he reached for the envelope with his name on.

“Wait,” Danny protested, turning to look at the waiter. “This isn't my table. I was just stopping to talk to him.”

“You're here to meet Rachel Edwards, aren't you sir?” asked the waiter, putting down two envelopes. “She booked this table and is picking up the tab for your meal. She said that I was to make you read the notes before you did or said anything.”

Steve reluctantly tore open his envelope, noting that Danny was doing the same with a very confused expression on his face. Steve couldn't blame him, he was pretty confused himself. He unfolded the note and read it.

 _Steve,_

 _I know that you were expecting me but I thought I'd send someone you'd actually like to spend the evening with. I know that Danny's probably told you some pretty terrible things about me, and maybe some of them are true, but I do still care about him and I want him to be happy. I'm pretty sure that you could make him happy if you take the chance. Think of this evening as your first date and enjoy yourselves._

 _Rachel_

 _P.S. If you break his heart, remember I have friends at the IRS._

Steve glanced up and found Danny looking at him, his own note abandoned on the table. He felt something inside him break free, the tight knot that had been constricting his chest all week loosened and he could breathe because Danny wasn't angry. He looked puzzled and something Steve couldn't decipher but wanted to read as just a little hopeful.

“You could have told me,” Danny said, his voice quieter than Steve had ever heard it before.

“I couldn't,” Steve argued, trying to make sure Danny understand he hadn't hid the date to hurt him. “If we'd actually gone out, Rachel and I, even though nothing was ever going to happen it would have...”

“No, no,” Danny interrupted, his voice sounding a little more like normal. “I meant about this.”

“Huh?”

“I'll show you mine if you show me yours,” his partner said with a wry smirk, waving his note and Steve couldn't help but hand over his. He looked at Danny's.

 _Danny_

 _He feels the same. Take a chance._

 _Rachel_

God, he hoped she was right about all this. He looked up and found Danny watching him, waiting for him to make his move, to say something to confirm what Rachel said in her note. Steve didn't know how she'd worked out that he was more than a little in love with her ex-husband, or even if she was right about Danny's feelings, but he figured she wasn't the sort of woman to waste her money on a long shot. She'd spent ten thousand dollars, and gone to a lot of trouble just to get them together, he figured the least he could do is take the chance.

“She's right,” he said, watching his partner's face for a clue to if Rachel was right about how Danny felt. “At least she is if, well, if you feel the same.”

“Wow, that's completely circular,” Danny said, his whole frame relaxing and becoming his normal self. “You are stunted, Steven, you know that? Emotionally stunted.”

“Stunted?” Steve demanded, a grin creeping onto his face. “That's rich coming from the guy who's not said anything about his own feelings.”

“Steven J. McGarrett,” Danny said, his voice and demeanor suddenly serious even if there was a hint of a twinkle in his eye. “There isn't anyone on this whole stupid island, baring Grace of course, who I care more about than you. I shouldn't, I know that, because it will mess with the team and probably cause all kinds of problems for both of us, but I do. I'm clearly a masochist because I dream of spending more time than I already do with you. Does that fulfill your need to over share, princess?”

Steve couldn't quite believe what he was hearing. He'd tried to stop himself thinking about it before this evening and even with Rachel's notes he still couldn't really bring himself to hope. And now Danny was putting it all out there, telling him exactly what he felt. God, he was so brave. So much braver than Steve would ever be. “Jesus, Danno.”

“Rachel's right though, isn't she?” Danny asked, looking just a little bit unsure. “I've not misinterpreted your caveman grunting?”

Steve grinned at that, the grin that Danny had once said made him look like a shark, and knew he needed to make his point. There was no way he was ever going to be able to share like Danny had, not yet anyway, because he was still feeling too overwhelmed by the whole thing. Also, words were Danny's superpower.

He stood up and stepped round the table to his partner's side, bending down and taking Danny's face in his hands. He met his partner's startled gaze for a moment before bringing his lips down to meet the other man's. It wasn't the best first kiss he'd ever had, Danny was too stunned and Steve was still buzzing with adrenalin, but he didn't care because nobody could misinterpret anything about it.

He pulled back and smiled at Danny. His partner still looked startled and Steve grinned at him. “I think that covers everything I wanted to say.”

“You really are a caveman,” Danny laughed as Steve took his seat again. “We're going to have to work on that.”

“Okay,” Steve agreed happily, noticing that the folks on the next table were staring at them and deciding not to care. “But only if I can work on your ties.”

“Shut up and choose a steak,” Danny ordered, picking up his menu.

“We're staying?” Steve asked, surprised that they weren't going to leave and take this back to the privacy of his house.

“Of course we're staying,” Danny insisted, looking up from the menu clearly appalled by the idea of leaving. “How often are you going to get the chance to say you're date's ex-wife spent ten gees to set you up and then paid for dinner?”

Steve didn't have a chance to even come up with an answer to that before Danny was speaking again. “Don't answer that. I don't want to think about you dating other people. Also, I'm hungry. I really want a nice thick steak and I'm thinking maybe a lobster.”

“Lobster?” Steve managed to say.

“What?” Danny said, his eyebrows raised in fake surprise. “I may owe Rachel big time for getting us together, I might even tell her that, but there's no way I'm passing up the chance to dine out on her tab. I'm thinking lobster, steak, a few glasses of really, really good red wine. I may even be forced to sample the chocolate lava cake for dessert.”

“Shall I call the heart surgeon now?” Steve asked, finally looking at his menu. “Book the bypass? I know a guy at Straub.”

“That's what I like most about you,” Danny said, jabbing his finger towards Steve. “You know people.”

Steve grinned and Danny mirrored it, looking like a giant goofball. Steve knew he looked like one too but he didn't care because couldn't believe how happy he felt. Maybe he might thank Rachel too, even after all the stress she'd put him through. He still thought she was crazy, just a different kind of crazy from an hour ago.

~fic~

“No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.” W.C. Fields

 


End file.
